
Journey to Self-Realization: My Experience at Shoonya Bodhisatva
The original content is written in Hindi, and I find the Hindi version is the best reflection of all my experiences. However, I’m providing this English translation to share these insights with a wider audience. Link अनुभवकर्ता से अनुभव तक: शून्य बोधिसत्व में मेरी आध्यात्मिक खोज
The spiritual journey is different for every individual – some follow the path of devotion (Bhakti Marg), some the path of action (Karma Marg), and others the path of knowledge (Gyan Marg). A significant turning point in my journey came when I participated in the Trigyan program at Shoonya Bodhisatva. In this blog, I wish to share my experiences and the knowledge I gained with you.
Introduction to Shoonya Bodhisatva
Shoonya Bodhisatva is a spiritual center operating under the Tatva Foundation, which incorporates various paths such as Tantra Bodhi, Bhakti Marg, and Gyan Marg. Its primary objective is to help seekers develop according to their natural inclinations. Kaivalya Ashram (a part of Tatva Foundation) provides free accommodation and knowledge to seekers, enabling every aspiring seeker to progress on their spiritual journey without any financial constraints.
Trigyan Program: A Three-Day Intensive Journey
My three days in the Trigyan program were profoundly intense experiences. Here, Maa Shoonya guided me through various dimensions of self-realization. At the end of the program, after evaluating my spiritual state, she accepted me as her disciple. Her guidance has proved invaluable in my journey toward self-realization.
A Brief Background
I was introduced to Maa Shoonya through a Telegram chat group. There, we discussed receptivity or ‘right listening,’ where she suggested limiting one’s efforts. Following this, I focused all my energy solely on the path of knowledge, disregarding other paths as much as possible.
With complete honesty, I made an effortless effort to empty myself and sit before Maa Shoonya, to absorb knowledge. This was the same advice given to me by Amit Ji. Like a river flowing by itself, everything is happening without any effort.
I had already begun walking the path of ‘Neti-Neti’ (not this, not this). Now, as these words are being written, I experience the teachings of my gurus descending through “shruti” (divine hearing), and incorrect directions automatically correct themselves. Perhaps this is why the Vedas are called “shrutis” – they were heard, not created.
Gurus are the embodiment of the divine, without whose compassion and divine knowledge, progress on the spiritual path is impossible. I bow humbly at their feet. I am extremely grateful to all my gurus who have guided me from the darkness of ignorance to the light of knowledge.
I respectfully wish to share another important fact: multiple gurus contribute to one’s spiritual journey with their supreme grace. I have presented my thoughts about gurus in another article, “Who is a Guru? Identifying True Guides in the Spiritual Journey.”
Amit Ji played a special role in this journey. Under his guidance, I experienced sahaj samadhi, achah pad (state of desirelessness), avdhoot, Shiva, Ram, Krishna, Prakriti, and himself. He taught me simply to ‘be Amit’ – to be everything while being nothing. Other gurus have also made significant contributions to my journey, details of which will be provided in future articles.
Another point I would like to share is that to connect with Shoonya Bodhisatva, a guru should be easily accessible to answer your questions. Maa Shoonya was always very accessible. The path of knowledge is excellent because it uses a methodical approach with common examples to explain profound concepts with great ease.
I would request every guru to consider the path of knowledge, as the vocabulary here can provide a collective foundation for what you wish to express. You will find yourself becoming a better guru. If a disciple’s spiritual progress is the guru’s aim, then they should certainly undertake this work. This will make your expression much clearer.
Understanding Existence: The First Lesson
The first important lesson of the Trigyan program was understanding existence. The word “existence” comes from the Sanskrit word “asti,” which means “is” or being.
Understanding existence is like comprehending the vastness of an ocean. We can stand at the shore, see its waves, touch its water, but cannot experience the entire ocean at once. Similarly, existence is everything – every experience, every object, every thought is part of it. It is difficult to define because everything is within it.
Maa Shoonya explained that existence can be expressed in various terms:
- Nirguna – It has no attributes, or it encompasses all attributes
- Nirakara – It has no form, or all forms are within it
- Kalateet – It transcends time
- Sarvavyapak – It is omnipresent
The most challenging aspect for me was transcending the limits of time. We have become so accustomed to living in time that the concept of being beyond time seems unimaginable. Maa Shoonya gave a simple yet profound formula – “Time is merely a unit to measure change, like kilograms, liters, or milliliters.”
Just as a kilogram measures weight and a liter measures volume, time measures change. Upon understanding this, I experienced that my existence prevails even in the absence of time. It was like being released from prison – freedom from the constraints of time.
The Experiencer and the Experience: The Beginning of Duality
The second important lesson of the Trigyan program was understanding the relationship between the experiencer and the experience. Existence is where duality begins – the duality between the experiencer and the experience.
The experiencer is known by various names – observer, witness, consciousness, atman. It is the unmanifested aspect of existence, through which existence experiences itself.
To understand this, consider an example – the experiencer is like a screen on which a film is playing, the film is the experience, and the mind is the viewer. If the mind considers the experience as truth, it involves itself with the characters on the screen, becoming sad with their sorrows and happy with their joys. But films (experiences) last for a short time, then a new experience comes – meaning the film changes. But the screen remains the same. Thus, change occurs in experiences, not in the experiencer.
When the mind becomes pure, it is called the soul. You could say that an impure mind sits separate from itself in the front seat watching the movie, but if this same mind becomes pure, it becomes the screen. Self-realization is recognizing this truth.
Maa Shoonya explained that the experiencer is also unknowable – it cannot be known, it can only be experienced. The experiencer is attributeless and self-evident, meaning it is self-proven.
The Experience of Sahaj Samadhi
At the end of the first day’s session on self-realization, Maa Shoonya mentioned the term “sahaj samadhi.” At that moment, I entered into sahaj samadhi and, amazingly, I was watching myself enter into samadhi. Throughout the entire process, I remained fully conscious.
This experience was like swimming in a river while simultaneously watching yourself from above. It was a state of transcending duality – where the observer and the observed become one, yet remain separate.
In sahaj samadhi, the veil between the experiencer and the experience disappears. It is like being in a dream while knowing it is a dream – a kind of lucid dreaming (conscious dreaming, where one can control the dream while in it), but in the waking state.
The Energy of Gurukshetra
The Gurukshetra of Shoonya Bodhisatva, where meditation and satsang are held, is filled with a unique energy. There, one experiences profound peace and security, which provides inner strength.
This experience was like entering a garden where every plant, every flower, every leaf is glowing with energy. Fear, which is a major obstacle for most seekers, spontaneously dissolves there.
In Gurukshetra, it feels as if the energies of various great masters are present together, transforming us into “hans” (swans). The swan is symbolically used for the soul because it allegedly picks only pearls from debris. This is a symbol – although swans don’t actually eat pearls – it illustrates that when one’s discernment awakens, one can recognize and choose truth from falsehood. Many people speak of knowledge, but the ability to identify which knowledge is useful and the capacity to absorb it is the main essence.
The Threefold Classification of Experiences
In the Trigyan program, I learned that experiences can be categorized into three classes:
- Experience of the World: Received through the five physical senses. Like seeing, hearing, feeling the world around you while walking on the street.
- Experience of the Body: Received through the five physical senses and internal senses. Like feeling hunger, thirst, fatigue, pain.
- Experience of the Mind (Chitta): Received through mental senses. Like thoughts, emotions, imaginations, dreams.
However, in reality, all experiences are of one type – mental experiences. Just as in dreams we experience through all five senses, but it all happens in the mind, similarly in the waking state, all experiences are ultimately mental.
The Neti-Neti Method: The Path to Becoming the Experiencer
To become the experiencer, Maa Shoonya taught the ‘Neti-Neti’ (not this, not this) method. In this method, we look at every experience and say, “I am not this.”
It’s like peeling an onion. We remove each layer – “I am not my body,” “I am not my thoughts,” “I am not my emotions.” When all layers are removed, what remains is the experiencer – pure consciousness.
Through the Neti-Neti method, the veil of illusion covering the experiencer is removed, ignorance is destroyed, and knowledge is revealed. It’s like the sun’s light after the clouds have cleared – it was always there but wasn’t visible due to the clouds.
The Criterion of Truth: Changeability
In Advaita philosophy, there is an important criterion for truth: “What is changeable is maya or illusion.” Based on this criterion, all experiences – whether of the external world, the body, or the mind – are illusory because they are all changeable.
Understanding this is like waking up from a dream. In a dream, everything seems real, but upon waking, we know it was all illusory. Similarly, when we awaken in self-realization, we understand that all experiences are illusory.
However, this doesn’t mean that experiences have no value. Just as a film, despite being illusory, can affect us, life’s experiences, though illusory, are also important.
The Difference Between Atmagyaan and Brahmagyaan
Let’s understand Brahmagyaan with an example. Being nothing, or the experiencer, is not a physical thing. It is experience or presence. This is one aspect of the coin. But there is another aspect – the world. Living in the world while knowing one’s true nature is Brahmagyaan.
To express this, many people turn towards renunciation after attaining self-realization. But its best definition comes from understanding Ardhanarishvara, the composite form of Shiva and Shakti, where Shiva, meaning that which is nothing, is actually infinite possibility, and Shakti engages in fulfilling every such possibility. In the presence of the experiencer, this action continues. We can also call this the experience-action. This is the only state of balance – being situated between the experiencer and the experience-action. In this sense, we can see Shiva and Shakti as forms of experience-action. Shiva is the passive presence as the experiencer, while Shakti is active as the experience. The experience of supreme consciousness lies in the balanced union of these two.
The difference between Atmagyaan and Brahmagyaan is like a drop maintaining its separate identity from the ocean, and then dissolving into the ocean to become the ocean itself. In Atmagyaan, we know that we are not the drop, but a part of the ocean. In Brahmagyaan, we become the ocean itself.
Conclusion: A Continuous Journey
My experience at Shoonya Bodhisatva is part of a journey that continues ceaselessly. This journey from Atmagyaan to Brahmagyaan leads to the core principle of Advaita – that element where duality disappears and only unity remains.
In this journey, Maa Shoonya’s guidance is invaluable. Her knowledge and perspective have helped me recognize my true nature. This knowledge is available to all, and I believe that every person can attain it by walking their own path.
Just as the sun rises anew every day, the light of knowledge is also new in every moment. This journey never ends; rather, each step brings new insights and depth.
This blog is based on my personal experience. The spiritual journey is unique for every individual, and my experience can only be taken as a reference point.